6 Secrets to a Successful Bedtime Routine

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We’ve all been told a good bedtime routine is essential for our little ones. But often this feels easier said than done. Here are a few tips to keep in mind as we navigate this tricky time of day.

But why is a good bedtime routine so important? A well-established bedtime routine benefits children by improving sleep, promoting oral health, and fostering cognitive, language, emotional, and social development. A bedtime routine plays a crucial role in a child’s daily life. It benefits not only the child and their development but can influence lower stress levels and smoother family functions as well. Establishing a consistent bedtime routine can positively impact a child’s long-term health. It becomes a valuable investment for parents who want to support their children’s growth and success. So here are some tips on how to make it successful.

Secret #1 – Keep it Consistent

A robust bedtime routine includes consistent and predictable activities that support your child’s nutrition, hygiene, physical contact and communication skills. These activities can include feeding or eating a nutritious snack, bathing, and brushing teeth. Reading, singing, or praying are also good options. Some enjoy massaging, cuddling, rocking, or snuggling together. Ideally, both parents should participate. However, I know that as soon as we had a second child, we quickly had to divide and conquer. The key here is to do the same activities in the same order each time you do the routine. Then do that routine regularly at the same time each night.

Being consistent does not mean you must complete this routine every night of your child’s life. Sure, that would be amazing, but it is not realistic. I am all about realism here. Having raised 5 kids I know that life happens. If having a bedtime routine in place can lower stress and improve family functioning, stressing over it every single night is counterproductive. It only denies or cuts short other enriching activities. So, when you are home and time allows, do the routine. It does need to happen often to have all of the positive effects but no need to become a robot.

Secret #2- Keep it Short

The ideal bedtime routine is between 30 and 40 minutes. Keeping the routine brief will make it easier to accomplish when life does get busy. Your routine should end with turning out the light. Try to leave your child’s room before they fall asleep, so they learn to fall asleep by themselves. Any activities that occur after lights are turned off can negatively impact your child’s sleep onset!

Secret #3 – Time it Right

Time it right. “Tire them out” during the day but do not exhaust them. Make sure that the few hours before bedtime are quiet and not full of energetic activities. Run them around during the day but then bring it down a few notches in the evening. Turn off the screens an hour before bed. Asking anyone to come down off blood pumping excitement and then switching to sleep immediately is impossible. Be aware of a child who is already exhausted. In that case, they are more likely to be grumpy and not comply with the parameters of your routine. Try to catch them before they show signs of exhaustion. Does one parent get home late and inevitably rile the children up? Work together to find a calmer solution. Perhaps that parent can set an expectation. They will sit on the sofa to catch up quietly with the children. They should avoid big rambunctious hugs and swinging around.

Secret #4 – Allow Flexibility Within the Parts of Your Routine

Your child’s needs will change as they grow and therefore elements of their bedtime routines will change as well. You may move from breastfeeding to bottles to nothing. You might transition from several board books to one big read aloud. Bedtimes might shift from 7:00 pm to later. (The experts say move their bedtime back in increments of 15 over time). As your child grows into toddlerhood, they will become more willful. Time to inject a little more (quiet) fun into the routine. Allow them a chance to make some of the decisions. They can choose which stuffed animal to sleep with. They can decide which pj’s to wear. Or perhaps allow them to turn on the nightlight. They can pick what book to read. Embrace reading the same book over and over again. Repetition is good for many reasons. One of which is it aids in language development. For more on this check out my blog post The Power of Repetition.

Secret #5 – Don’t Forget About the Morning

You know that feeling. It is finally Saturday morning and perhaps you don’t have to rush off somewhere. You can all sleep in! Don’t do it! Sleeping more than an hour past your normal wake up time can negatively influence the following weeks schedule! So instead, get them up. However, feel free to keep on those pjs and keep the activity low key for a few hours.

Secret #6 – Be Firm!

Be firm. Especially in those two and tree year old stages. We talked about ways to combat willful behavior, but they may also hit a separation anxiety phase. If this happens, offer them a blanket or a stuffed animal (or truck or other unlikely treasure, you know how unpredictable they are!) to hold while you are gone. Then, when the routine is done, give a kiss and stand up. Put out the light and close the door without hesitation. This is non-negotiable. If they wake up in the night. Walk them back to their bed, tuck them back in, give them a kiss and leave.

In conclusion, a successful bedtime routine hinges on consistency, simplicity, and adaptability, while ensuring the right timing and firmness. Following a predictable series of comforting activities. Reading, cuddling, and practicing good hygiene can help your child transition smoothly to sleep. Keeping the routine brief and adjusting it as your child grows makes it easier to manage, even on hectic days. Flexibility is important, but maintaining structure is key to achieving positive outcomes. Lastly, being firm during challenging moments, like times of separation anxiety, reinforces healthy sleep habits that benefit everyone.

Want to know more? Check out these articles from around the web.

Benefits of a bedtime routine in young children: Sleep, development, and beyond
By, Jodi A. Mindell and Ariel A. Williamson Published in the Sleep Medicine Review

Bedtime Routines for Children: Important, But Why? by George Kitsaras Ph.D. on Psychology Today

Children and Sleep: An introduction to the importance of sleep in children and how to help them sleep better by Danielle Pacheco, Staff Writer and Dr. Nilong Vyas, Pediatrician on Sleepfoundation.org