Fairy Tales: Balancing the Magic with Real-Life Lessons for Your Child’s Development

Fairy tales have always been a mainstay of early childhood. Those stories that provided common ground for people across generations. They are stories everyone knows. But are they helpful or harmful to know? This is a debate that is not easily solved.

Fairy tales are those classic, often magical stories that we all know. Stories featuring magical creatures, some kind of fantastical adventure and almost always end with a “happily ever after.” Whether from books or passed down verbally, tales like the tooth fairy & Santa Claus, Cinderella & Hansel and Gretel and the new Disney “classics” like Frozen & Moana, are all considered fairy tales.

Fairy tales have both positive and negative impacts on child development. Here’s a breakdown of the benefits and concerns:

Benefits of Fairy Tales:

• Imagination: Fairy tales spark creativity and encourage imaginative thinking.
• Emotional resilience: They help children confront difficult emotions in a safe, magical setting.
• Moral lessons: Simple stories of good versus evil teach kids right from wrong.
• Critical thinking: Kids learn from characters’ mistakes and develop problem-solving skills.
• Cultural awareness: Fairy tales expose children to diverse cultures and customs.
• Problem-solving: Characters overcoming challenges inspire children to think creatively.
• Vocabulary: Reading fairy tales can boost language skills and introduce new words.
• Love of reading: Fairy tales can instill a lifelong interest in reading.
• Therapeutic value: Fairy tales provide a non-threatening way to address real-life issues.
• Sense of belonging: Stories rooted in cultural heritage give children a sense of identity and pride.

Concerns About Fairy Tales:

• Gender stereotypes: Traditional roles often portray women as passive and men as heroes.
• Unrealistic body standards: Characters like Belle and Ariel promote unattainable body images.
• Emphasis on looks: Some stories suggest appearances determine goodness or worth.
• Self-worth: Fairy tales can lead children to believe they aren’t good enough if they don’t fit certain ideals.
• Superficial relationships: Stories can teach that relationships are based on appearance rather than character.
• Censoring suffering: Some tales gloss over common life struggles.

In my opinion it is important to present fairy tales with an accompanying narrative and discussion monitoring and guiding your child’s understanding of the story. Remember to present stories that are age appropriate and not ones that may cause inappropriate fright in your child. Consider the topics and problems of the story. Is your child mature enough to reconcile the subject or problem and solution?

I am concerned about the stereotypes presented in fairy tales. This is where discussion is important. Share your views and concerns with your child. Additionally, present your child with alternative stories that break those stereotypes. A stereotype is a biased belief about a group of people. These beliefs are created through limited knowledge of and experience with a certain group. Make sure your child has a variety of experiences with diverse groups of people so that these generalized beliefs, based on scant evidence only found in fairy tales (for example), don’t become prevalent.

I love the modern movement within children’s literature to combat stereotypes perpetuated by fairy tales. Authors and publishing houses are embracing these alternatives and there are many on the market today. Just for fun I have included a short list of some here:

Fractured Fairy Tales Book List

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So, in conclusion, fairy tales, contextualized by the parents are less harmful than those simply presented. It is our responsibility as parents to discuss what we have read with our children. Examine the problem-solving abilities of the characters, the unrealistic nature of some solutions and the framework of biases. In this way, we can protect them from the harmful effects of fairy tales’ stereotypes and biases while embracing the benefits.